Yesterday morning, I begrudgingly dragged myself out of bed at 5:30 a.m. after a fitful night of weird dreams and got myself on the yoga mat for an intense 45 minute workout. Following that, I quickly downed my daily green juice (still dripping in sweat) and then proceeded to go into the bathroom and turn on the shower. Only to look down and see a wolf spider hanging out in the corner. A gigantic, furry, jumping, venomous wolf spider, just slightly smaller than a tarantula.
Oh dios mio. Seriously? It’s just too early to be dealing with such mayhem in my home. Thankfully, I had that green juice to pump up my energy like Popeye and deal with the situation.
So I started the task at hand by staring at it but that just seemed to bore the spider as it stretched out its front legs.
I left the light on in the bathroom (they’re nocturnal right? So if there’s a light on, it’ll think it’s daylight and go to sleep?) and started to pace around my house. Since I can get from one side to the other in about 8 steps, that didn’t really get me very far. Meanwhile, all I could think about is how long has this gigantic spider be in my home and how did he get in (and even more important, how am I going to get him out)?
I pop back into the bathroom and it’s still stretched out in the corner. I took a photo of it and posted it to Facebook, leaving a comment for some local friends to see if they were nearby and not working yet (and maybe they could come and rescue this poor spider from my home). No reply…ugh. I’m gonna have to deal with this one on my own.
I went into the kitchen and looked for my widest and tallest container. The only one that fit the description was a brand new one that I hadn’t even used yet (and am still debating on whether I want to use it now or not).
I carefully nudged the spider out of the corner in order to get it under the container without cutting off any of its legs. Then I took a piece of paper and nudged it under but it wasn’t strong enough. I found a piece of cardboard but that was too thick.
By this time, another local friend had commented that I should use a magazine cover. So while I don’t normally buy magazines, I did recall having some old Nature Air magazines sitting on top of my frig and grabbed one of those and ripped off the cover (this is why you should never throw anything away – you never know when you might need a magazine cover to deal with a spider).
That did it. As I nudged the cover under the container, the spider ran up the side of the tall container. Good. It was no longer hanging out along the bottom…less chance of an escape when I turn the canister over.
Okay. Now let’s all just take a moment here and breathe. I knew I didn’t want to attempt to right side the container until the spider had a chance to relax into its current position at the top of the canister. I chose this “relaxing” time to open my front door. After some time had passed, I very carefully lifted up opposite sides of the paper and the container, placing it right side up on my shower floor.
I quickly replaced the cover with the container’s lid and ran outside and downstairs to the open jungle lot next to my house. I then opened the lid and using a swinging motion with the container, released the spider, flinging him several feet out into the wild. Deep breath. It landed on a branch and went off on its merry way.
And people wonder what I do all day…